Post-op Day 8 *WARNING*

*SURGICAL IMAGE WARNING* I'm going to post a picture of my knee post-op without the bandage.

I haven't updated lately because my days have been similar. Rest, ice, tell Milo to stop barking, sleep, repeat. I have been healing though, i've been able to put more weight on my leg each day. I used two crutches, then one crutch, now i'm hobbling around without anything at home but used my cane when I went to see the doctor. Speaking of my GP, they didn't even send her the report! She didn't even know I had surgery until I said "well, i'm here to get my bandages off...". Lol. And what a relief it was to get them off! Wanna see a picture?

Bruises and Stitches

It's pretty bad quality...but basically my knee is inflamed and brused everywhere. It doesn't hurt much though, the feeling is like it's bruised. Which it is. And like I can't bend it all the way. And a bit achey. But compared to sciatic pain, it's nothing! I'm not sure why i'm bruised farther down the leg, maybe the surgeon was leaning on it? I'll have to ask next week. The stitches are prickly. My wrists are also getting quite sore. Whether from being on the compy/phone, arthritis flaring, or from holding my self up on counters and crutches i'm not sure.

In other news, i've started the second book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series. I'm trying to catch up with the tv show (which is on season three, I think it would be around book three?) but it's slow going. I don't think I read as quickly on the computer as I do a physical book. Strange?

Good Day :)

I had a good day today :). This is nice for a change! I had my first day of classes today, it's nice to get back into the swing of things. My class today was human biology two, we talked about blood. I'm looking forward to the rest of the semester, and to my class tomorrow which is herbal botany and manufacturing :D.

Pain-wise wasn't too bad either. My wrists and hands are a bit sore from the cool rainy weather, but the nerve pain down my right side has been a bit better today. It seems moving around and not sitting too long helps. Also all my meals were made for me today! Bran made some super yummy chicken and dumplings yesterday, and he cooked up the fish we had in the fridge today. He'll make a good home cook yet!

Lovely GP

I had a productive meeting with my GP today. As usual she was lovely, and quite concerned with my spike in pain levels. She agreed that trying the tricyclic antidepressants was a good idea, she actually has some other chronic pain patients on them so she knows that they can work well. She has also added 'round the clock panadol osteo (which is just a slow release panadol/acetaminophen) to my list of meds.

I took the amitriptyline a bit ago, and honestly i'm feeling a little bit speedy (not that i've taken speed before...just mind racy and that sort of thing) so....we'll see how I feel in another half hour. I'm hoping it will help...really really hoping.

I've also lost two kilos since my last visit! Yay! BP is also fine so...yeah...other than being diseased and symptom-ed and fat i'm pretty healthy ;)

Housesitting

I've been away for a few days, I bet the 1-2 of you who read this missed me ;). The truth is that my husband, pup, and I have been housesitting for my MiL as she went down to Sydney for an interview about the book she's written. I'll write more on that when it's available. It's been a nice few days over there, being able to take a bath and wriggle the wrinkly skin of her shar pei Cimba (who is a 12 year old rescue dog whom she adopted last year <3). Milo had fun having another dog around and being able to walk around his old stomping ground.

But now it's nice to be home. It's nice to have my ingredients for cooking, my bed, my pots and pans...

I did have two days over there were I was feeling very low. I'm not sure if it was just changing things around so much, or the increase in st. john's wart, but it wasn't very nice. I've bounced back though, and i'm feeling much better. Pain wise I haven't been too bad, my back was very sore for a day, but it's gotten better. I've continued to use the tennis ball to help with tight muscles in my back as well as adding in magnesium. I think it's been helping with the generalised muscle pains. I need to find an acupuncturist to try next as I think the one I went to before had shut up shop for the time being.

Burgers and Resumes

So sometimes I actually like to write about relevant things...but that time is not today.

I continue being tired. I was able, though, to get out and hand in my resume to a health shop down the road. Alas, they weren't looking to hire anyone. I also visited the "vampires" today to get my monthly blood tests done. Always fun to have an aching arm for a few days >.>.

I also made chicken burgers for dinner. Mini ones :). They came out alright, but I think I would only use half an onion next time and grate it. But i'm someone who doesn't like big chunks of onion. They were a big hit with the hubby ;).

Hip wasn't too bad today. I did have a horrible cramp in my calf that started Milo with my yelling...and my R knee has been wonky....but other than that not too bad pain wise!

BC and GP

Ah dear, what a day it's been.

We've had a bit of a tiff in the body corporate over what trees were meant to be cut down along our side yard. It was generally understood that tree which could cause damage were to be cut down and poisoned  I have no idea which trees can cause damage here, so Bran and I left it up to the tree lopper and other people in te BC. Well, I woke up this morning to the people cutting down almost all of the trees on the property. Again, maybe they were all potential damage inducers? I wouldn't know. But now we have some of the other owners very upset about it. It's sad to see the beautiful big trees being cut down, and I feel like I should feel worse about it...but I also feel that we need to protect our home, and it was decided that we would plant more suitable trees there once things are settled. Anyway, upset on the homefront is never nice...so thats been part of my day.

The other part of my day was going to my GP and taking care of some paperwork that I need to deal with centrelink. I've also got a new six month card for blood tests and we've decided which path to go with for the psychologist i'm seeing. I also got a big thing of good olive oil for half price :D. Tomorrow i'll need to go deal with centrelink and see of they can actually be of any assistance, if not i'll have to try somewhere else...

Overall i'm alright today, my mood has been better since I had a nice cry over labs testing on beagles yesterday. Painwise was meh, my right arm is still sore and my muscles are more tender than normal. I'll start back on my DMARDs tomorrow, but i'm glad I got a blood test done while i've been off of them for a while. It'll be interesting to see what they say.

I will also say i've taken a tramadol, I need a bit of pain relief. Goodnight

Rheumy Rant

As you could have guessed, i'm having a rough time right now. All this stress has thrown me into a flare, especially in my right shoulder/elbow/wrist. I had a rheumatology appointment today, when I came home I ended up sleeping for 4 hours! And i'm still tired!

Speaking of my rheumatologist, he was once more pleasant but dismissive. Basically no inflammation in the joints = not his field. And fibro is just misinterpreted pain signals o.O. Really? Because I totally couldn't tell between the brain fog, fatigue, GI problems and horrible pain i'm experience. Must be something else right? Because tai chi will totally fix all that.

I'm not putting down tai chi, I actually haven't tried it, but I have done other gentle exercises and while they help with loosening things up and relaxing they don't help with all the other problems! Plus, quite a bit of the pain I feel seems more tendon related. There would be inflammation in the tendons, yeah? But that once more isn't joints. Apparently medicine doesn't work very well for inflamed tendons. How about some pain killers maybe!?!

Not to mention he is continuously comparing my pain to his own osteoarthritis and back pain. It's alright to make a comparison to try and explain that you have empathy, but he seems more like he's saying "yeah, everyone has pain, look at my pain! I'm in pain too! But I can still run and lift weights and you should too". I really just don't understand how comparing pain that is quite normal for a 50-something year old to an autoimmune disease in a 23 year old is meant to be helpful...

I just feel like i'm running into a brick wall as far as rheumatologists go. My first one was also very dismissive and told me to get off antidepressants and just be happy o.O. This one is dismissive and doesn't seem to be interested in actually treating me beyond methotrexate and making sure my blood tests are within normal range.

On a lighter note, I did actually get a nice nap in today. I was falling asleep on the bus, so my body must just really be trying to recover from all this stress. Hopefully this weekend will be a nice quiet one.

Also some good news to end with! My husband's job is now offering flexible hours and as he goes in early anyway, he'll now be able to come home earlier :). This will help a lot with Milo and i'm sure be nicer for him <3 maybe we can go back to our afternoon walks together.

STRESS

Oh. My. Goodness. It's been a very stressful last few days. My anxiety has been increasing anyway as I have final exams coming up, my family hasn't contacted me, as well as dealing with the ever ongoing pain and problems that come along with PsA and fibro. Now i'm having problems with my neighbour. I wont go into too much detail, our dog scared her cat and that caused some upset. I can understand that, I just hate knowing that someone who shares a wall with us is mad. Plus I know Milo didn't mean any harm :( he just hasn't met a cat....but it also puts a stop on our plan to adopt a cat until we know Milo will calm down.

Anyway, it's all caused too much stress and I was really starting to break down. My naturopath gave me another herbal tablet and a vial of passion flower extract to help deal with anxiety, i'm very thankful for that as i've been able to function much better for the past day and a half than I have for the previous week! Which is good, as I have a very busy week of meeting with my GP, rheumatologist, and osteopath. I met with my OT already today to deal with my wrist brace hurting my thumb, as well as class and getting blood drawn for my monthly tests.

Honestly, i'm tired and really in pain from my wrist, elbow, hips, feet, jaw and ankle. But my back is feeling mostly better! It's nice knowing I have some people on my health care team who are doing their best to help.

Osteopath and Ocular Migraines

Time for an update. I'm off the low carb thing, I started getting ocular migraines and losing weight is just not worth hallucinating.

My R wrist and elbow have been acting up the past few days. I can still use them, but since seeing the OT they have just been grumpy. My jaw is also back to being painful. I'm trying to figure out of maybe there was some trigger that caused it. Sugar maybe? Too much gluten? I'm too tired to try to cut anything else out of my diet right now. Though i'm likely to go visit a Naturopath that focusses for on allergies and diet soon, as suggested by my Osteopath. Speaking of osteopath, she's quite nice. A bit more hard edged than my lovely naturopath, but in a good way. Though she did give me the "sexual abuse is linked to obesity is linked to fibromyalgia" speech. I know that it is their job as a holistic practitioner, but how many times do I need to be told i'm fat? *sigh* But her manipulations have definitely been helping my hip/knee pain and tightness. Not as much the second time around but I can still notice a distinct difference.

She also brought up the anti-TNF meds, which was interesting. My rheumy doesn't want me going on them though as he feels the pain I experience is all fibro because my blood tests are fine. Except from my understanding fibro pain is more in the muscles, and while I do get pain in my muscles a lot of my pain is in the joints. I'm going to have to see my rheumy again soon as I got my MRI results, though i'm dragging my feet :P.

Aaanyway, other than that my energy levels haven't been bad. I went on a crazy 20 minute cleaning spree and got the kitchen and bathroom clean (mostly, the floor is Bran's job ;) ). Still getting good results from the naturopathic medicine as far as my back pain goes. We're going to take Milo to the dog park for the first time in a while, poor thing. He'll be happy that he gets to run around.

Surprise MRI

I had my visit with the neurosurgeon about my back today. It was just so workcover can figure out whats going on really. He said basically i'll be fine, just that there isn't a particular time frame of when i'll start feeling better (the back injury, anyway). So i'm not really sure what workcover is going to do with this information...

Anyway, I also got to jump ahead in line for my right hand MRI! This will show whether the arthritis has damaged my joints yet. Despite the fact that I only put in the request today, they had a cancelation so i'm up tomorrow afternoon. I'm not really sure what I want it to show...of course I don't want there to be damage, since that is irreversible and bad, but part of me wants to have something to show to my rheumatologist to say "See! Told ya! Now I would like it if you gave a crap!". We'll just have to see. It'll be good to get a baseline anyway for in the future to judge if any/how much damage is done in a specific time period. If there is damage, it'll also help say whether it is PsA or RA. I'm not really digging either, but there are some different ways they are treated.

On a very good note, my Naturopath has me on some new tablets that I think are helping. One is a pain tablet which I do notice helping, since I can tell when it wears off (lol). Another is one thats meant to help me calm down and sleep better. I think it's helping, I did sleep well last night. The last is st. john's wart which has anti-depressant/anti-anxiety properties. That one has for sure helped me get off the stupid cymbalta! I've actually not has any brain zaps today, and even over the past two weeks they've been bearable and decreasing. I feel a bit bad that I wasn't able to tolerate the liquid mixes he made, i'm not sure if it was the alcohol base or what...but I just couldn't do it.

Now i'm off to bed to prepare for another full day tomorrow of class, MRI, and a doctors appointment all in different areas of town >.> Yay!

Night Time Rambles

Ah dear. I'm having a rough night. Not so bad pain wise, just can't stop thinking about what would happen if I get sicker...how I can't work...how i'm getting burnt out only doing a few things a day...how  my family is over in America. It's a lonely thing being over here and sick. Bran helps as much as he can, but he has a full time job and only has so much energy himself. I don't want to be someone who needs a carer, but man it would be great to have a few friends near by who I could lean on.

I'm only 23.

I'm thankful, though, that I have such a dedicated husband. I'm thankful that we own an apartment. I'm thankful that i'm able to go to school full time and not have to worry about money too much because of my husband. I'm also thankful that my sickness isn't as bad as it could be. I had to go to the hospital today to pick up a copy of my spinal MRIs, and there is nothing like a hospital to make you thankful for the health you have. I think maybe it's starting to really sink in that i'll never be 100% again.

COLD!

My goodness, this is more of a note to myself than anything; cold is PAINFUL! The temperature dropped today quite drastically as well as being a little bit drizzly and I can feel it in my joints. Fingers, wrists, elbows and feet are not happy campers. My back is perpetually sore, but the other joints definitely weren't this bad yesterday. I look a panadeine forte this morning and it didn't put a dent in it >.>. Meh.

On a lighter note, we are looking to get a cat! Milo has been lonely and things didn't work out with the dog minder, so we thought a little sibling would help with his anxiety. We've found a lovely cat who apparently enjoys playing with dogs so we are hopeful that we will be able to adopt him :) (his name is Pepper and he is a very handsome short haired black kitteh).

Tired

I've tried to think of something interesting to write, but honestly i'm just very tired. I'm not at my worst point pain wise, but I am sore. I'm just really tired both physically and mentally from dealing with diseases and my body falling appart on me. I'm only 23 but i'm already dealing with a seronegative arthritis,  degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, facet joint degeneration, nerve damage, some mental health difficulties (PTSD and depression related to it), and all the fun stuff that comes with the medicines for said diseases/conditions and of course my previous emergency microdiscectomy which kicked it all off (I think).

I'm not saying my life is awful or woe is me, I know i'm lucky to be in a country where healthcare is covered by taxes or is relatively inexpensive. I'm very lucky to have a loving husband and supportive in-laws. I'm lucky in that I can still walk, and that my pain isn't worse than it is.

I'm just tired.

Even over my "vacation" from school I was still running around dealing with health related meetings.

On a lighter note, I have some new herbal mixtures to try that focus a bit more on fibromyalgia and CFS. I do so love talking to my new naturopath, David :) he is such a funny guy. He also doesn't mind explaining what the different herbs do and whatnot.

Well, now i'm off to attempt to get some housework done before the end of the day.

Naturopath Appointment

I had an interesting meeting with a new naturopath today :). My other (lovely) naturopath had to take time away for family reasons, so he recommended this one (also lovely). He was so funny! And once he found out I am a naturopathy student he was happy to tell me all about the different herbs and supplements he was prescribing and took a picture of my iris and told me about it (iridology).

He said that the rings around the grey/blue/green parts my iris meant that I have had a lot of stress throughout my life that I haven't let go of (sounds like the psychic when she said that I have so much worry in me that if someone reached in and took it away I would crumble!). And that the wiggly fibers meant that I had a lot of worries on my mind. The ring around the middle represents my gut and that it is very out of whack, especially my stomach which apparently isn't digesting correctly (not enough stomach acid?).

My eyeball

He also let me peek in when he was making up the herbal extract mixture and let me smell the different extracts he put in ^__^ it was very exciting! *naturopathy-nerding out* It was great being able to talk to him and get a good idea of what he was prescribing and what autoimmune arthritis means in naturopathic terms.  The only down side is that he wants me to go back off gluten *grumble* but i'll do it if it'll help.

Update (yes, really)

Goodness, it's been over a month since i've entertained my two readers with my oh-so-interesting rambling!

Thats because we don't have internet at the apartment >.> but as the roof is being repaired, we are back with my MiL.

So here is an update in a nutshell:

-Did on the job training
-Had three shifts
-Had an incident on the third shift which resulted in me hurting my back
-Went on workers comp.
-Went into full on fibro flair
-Still figuring things out job wise, but it's quite possible I wont be able to return to that job :(

-Started back at Uni
-Going well.

-Started Cymbalta
-Hate Cymbalta
-Going off Cymbalta
-Starting to get withdrawal symptoms already, and i've only decreased the dose.
-If I still need something for anxiety, i'll try a naturopathic medicine. I'm tired of all these pills...

-Milo was doing really well with barking and doggy daycare
-Milo got a tummy bug :(
-Milo was fine
-Milo's tummy bug returned with vengeance
-Milo lost a lot of weight do to tummy bug :(
-We had to be very careful what he ate, while trying to get his weight up.
-Milo is doing much better :) weight is back up and he's happy

I haven't been able to go to any meet ups or hang out with anyone due to all this random stuff that keeps popping up. I've also been tired, not quite exhausted, but easily fatigued.

On a lighter note, i've finally started losing weight again! I believe this is due to both getting off some of the meds that cause weight gain and bringing a very healthy lunch with me to school. Plus I just haven't been able to handle as much crap.

As far as joints go, they haven't been too bad. My jaw on the right side had been painful off and on for about three weeks, but really it doesn't hurt me to have to eat oatmeal instead of chips ;). My R ankle is bothersome, also for about three weeks. Thats a bit more concerning, but there isn't really anything that can be done. My walking stick has been getting a work out! BTW, after speaking with my lovely counsellor, I have decided to refer to my walking stick as my Happy Stick from now on.

Brain Fog

I've had a very marshmallow brain day. All day. But I think part of it was due to a migraine since I started having ocular abnormalities. A nap helped with that.

I had a good session with my counsellor. She helped me come up with some other pain management strategies and we talked about how to handle my rheumatologist. We also talked about a potential job i'm going for. The job is being a carer for someone with a spinal cord injury. It includes personal care as well as some cooking a light housework. I should be able to handle it just fine as it is a no lift job.

In other news, I took some tramadol earlier today. I haven't really felt hungry since. And my brain had been more foggy. It has taken the edge off the pain, but I still feel it. Maybe i'll try a voltarin and a tramadol tonight and see how that goes.

Heading over to the apartment tomorrow.

Flares Aren't Just for Signalling

Definitely flaring. Hopefully it'll turn up on my blood tests >.>. I had my strengthening class today, and could only really do about 2/3rd of what I normally can. Not so good. But i'll be able to start going twice a week, which will hopefully up my knee strength a bit quicker.

Speaking of blood tests, I had more blood taken today. I reminded her to use the syringe instead of the vacuum sucky needle, which is meant to cause less damage, but my small veins caused problems and she had to stab me twice. So much for that >.>.

On a lighter note I took a nice hot bath and ate pizza bagels for dinner.

Ranty Rant

I was quite frustrated today. I have been in a bit of a flare, but I don't want to take the prednisone :(. You'd think mtx and plaquenil would be enough? I'm also worried i'll end up on biologics....at the same time it would be awfully nice to not be in pain every day. I'm not sure that my husband is really getting it. *sigh* Usually he is really lovely and helpful but lately he has been complaining a lot more. We've been cleaning up our recently purchased apartment before we move in, and he just does not want to do it. But I cannot physically do everything. It's just frustrating...if I could then I would :(. We've had a talk about it though, so hopefully he is be a bit more considerate about that.

Seeing the rheumatologist again on Wednesday. I need to remember to ask about the itchy scalp since starting plaquenil and the random reactions to elastic in clothing...

Rice-beans-chicken mixture is still going well. It made a lot more than I though! Yeah economical! It was basically; black beans, brown rice, a can of tomatoes, some left over pasta sauce, an onion, spices, mixed frozen veg and leftover chicken thrown in....but somehow it made an awesome burrito/quesadilla  filling.

Blah

Wrists are very sore. Typing is not fun.

Too. Much. Sugar.

I may or may not have eaten an entire bar of cadbury hazelnut chocolate >.>

I may or may not have a tummy ache <.<

I may or may not be planning on eating salad all day tomorrow >.<

Woke up with my LEFT ankle hurting today. Not so much fun. It did calm down after the meds kicked in. I've been off the prednisone but i'm greatly considering starting again as it seems like everything is going crazy. I can hear you all (all two of you) saying "well Em, think it has something to do with the sugar intake of that giant candy bar you just ate?" or maybe you aren't saying that...but sugar could be a trigger...just one i'm not willing to try giving up on yet. Or coffee. It's just not going to happen, sorry.

In other news...I went grocery shopping? I've had a pretty quiet day really...I did have tasty roasted brussel sprouts for dinner along with the chocolate. Thats half good right? >.>

Stuff thats painful: ankles, back, nerve stuff, and the usual hands/elbows/shoulders/Rknee. Random headache too.